Women's Day Conundrums.

Women's Day Conundrums.
March 9, 2017.

Women's Day celebrations bring new feelings every year. There are inevitably two sides, one pro and one anti Women's Day celebrations.

One side believes that Women's Day  celebrations actually do harm or at least no good. The messages sent out on Women's Day celebrate her as the the weak, fair gender. The messages recognize that she is brutalized and curse that, but at the same time promote gendered roles. Lionizing her as a devi, giver, one who completes the man etc. “We are lucky because she takes care of us.”

This year an actress was part of a video which showed how she is sick of empty promises, when there is no visible improvement in Women's positions on ground. A comedian made a video on the futility of this day. A good article was written about the fact that men can never be feminists because the latent benefits of patriarchy are too good to be given up and so the stakes are too high. So any feminist wishes on this day are bankrupt and a mere lip service.

One friend even went ahead to suggest that people forget the beauty of care economy in which mother's raise their children. He said, "People forget the valuable contribution of our mother but in our every success they are the real hero. Our father shows and guide us on the path but it is the mother who is walking down the path with us. That's why I believe that there shouldn't be just a single day for such contribution."

So what's the point of this sho-sha? I will answer that now.

1. For all the people arguing that Women's Day is just 'ek-din-ki-chaandi', Women's Day Celebrations is not about disregarding our women on all the other days. Please read the history of Women's Day! This day traces it's genesis to the day when 1500 women took out a protest march in New York for better working conditions as long ago as 1908! The February revolution of the 1917 Russian revolution began with a Women's Day celebration march. So please value this day for what it is.

2. Women's Day is not Mother's Day. There is a  Mother's Day for it and I'm sure your mum is lovely. And her love and sacrifices deserve celebration. But NOT TODAY. A women is not just a mother. She is a HUMAN BEING independent of her relationships to others.  And on Women's she is celebrated for that identity.
Stop praising women for being there for you on this day! Tell her it's okay if she isn't there for you sometimes.. it's okay that she takes time off. Please accept that women have responsibilities and restrictions and fears that you will never face. Women also accept that men have some unrealistic expectations and pressures. And realise that Women's Day is about both genders. Period.

3. Don't be rigid and expect that Women's Day celebration is only valid if all of Women's problems are over. Please be realistic and understand that we have a come a long from sati and child marriage and this is an ongoing journey and that there is no magic bullet. World Economic Forum has estimated that it will take 170 years to close the gender wage gap.. please don't make this celebration a prisoner of impossible expectations.

4. The most stupid, one-upmanship question viz. Why is there no men's day? There is. It's November 19. I will not waste any more characters on this. Google (the verb).

5. If it's still very hard for you to understand why Women's Day is celebrated. Or if you hate it a lot. Just do us one favour. Please keep quite for this day. Don't make Women's Day about yourself with your one-upmanship. It's not about you. We shouldn't spend Women's Day defending why we need a Women's Day. That's the reason I'm writing this on 9th March and not 8th.

I understand that empty whatsapp messages are pointless and mere symbolism. Also Women's Day is actively used to assign gender roles. I know, I know, both mother's and father's guide and both walk with us. And yet, I humbly submit, let the symbolism be. People who subscribe to symbolism will come around. How? By you calling out to their biases. These symbols help to bring our point home. They give a place to speak. Again and again and again.

Meanwhile your rational friends, men and women, are genuinely telling you today that we as a society have a come long way and will continue walking on this path which leads to equity and equality. Even if it takes a thousand years. We will take a step. Today.