Date : sometime in 2009!
Non- Mumbai people and non- abusers.. you may not like the this blog... You may want to steer clear!!
I've officially witnessed THE most bizarre fight EVER!!!
A fight ,I swear, I could never participate in!!!
Background for you.....
My dear sweet little brother, comes back from college but strays away from home without eating lunch.
As expected, my mum calls him a million times on his cell phone.
As expected, he repeatedly assures her: "Buss paanch minute".
As expected, he returns after an hour and a half, and 3 more calls.
As expected, he gets his 'THE' five minute lecture for the day.
As expected, she then stuff him with food.
As expected, he hits the bed, remembers his bag is left with a friend and calls him to please drop it home on his way back "A Shane(a Marathi word read smartass), lunch-box mein chaar(read four) theple(a Guajarati snack) hain, kha matt"
As expected, his friend drops the bag.
Just when you think nothing unexpected is going to occur on this day, his friend casually informs him that the lunch has been polished off by a third common friend.
O.K. now I understand that if you ask friends to not eat your tiffin, they HAVE TO!! AND they will...
But listen to what followed, my brother called the common friend.. and this is what he said..
"Kya hai Shekhar, kitna bhukkad(read hog) hai tu, saale tujhe kahha tha na maine.
PAUSE Theple ki baat nahi hai,PAUSE yehi hain tere etiquettes.
PAUSE Subah se marr raha tha use khane ke liye.
PAUSE Aur ab ghar pe nahi bache hain. agar tu 1-2 khaata toh main fir bhi samajh jaata, tune chaaro kha liye. PAUSE achcha Paresh ne akele khaaye honge kyaa PAUSE saale chu**ye"
*I'd like to underline that he's just eaten a sumptous lunch!*
Me in the background "Kripa stop it! Kya kar rahe ho. Stop behaving so cheaply. Arrey, arrey buss karo"
He: "Kuch manners nahi hai tujhme. kaisa ghatiya insaan hai re tu ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE"
hangs up!
Me: "What is wrong with you? What was that? You’ve broken friendship with him for food!!!!"
He: "Who said I broken friendship with him. Let’s see if he calls back "
"what #it #meant# to# be,# will #eventually #be# a# memory#(his LP ringtone with vibrations)
By now my mouth is open the widest it can!!!
He: "Wo baat nahi hai. Salle tujhme tameez nahi hai! ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE". Hangs up!
And he goes back to sleep and is snoring after exactly three minutes!!
I have never ever even remotely seen such a fight in my five years at hostel. Sure, we hate to share sometimes. Maximum we do is back bitch!! The facade has to be smiling!! In the hostel you're going to the most food-deprived ever. Food from home comes second to only free food out there... But still we can never EVER fight like that!!
How can somebody have a fight over such a petty issue, with so much confidence and then sleep like a log!! The only other people I remember arguing over food were guys from my junior college they would becoming warring factions over everything from bits and pieces of vada pav to a sip of beer.
I guess that is how all guys sleep so sound! They say, what they feel and out loud!! To hell with what YOU feel about their behavior.. Must be peace of mind-zone, their brains!!
Also guys never EVER "break a friendship", they simply fight like dogs and then come back together to snuggle like a litter of puppies!
What can I say.. It must be testosterone!!
3 comments:
Isnt this anecdotal observation of yourrs a bit sexist?Biologcal factors such as testosterone makes us men aggressive and more prone to hurling abuses at each other but that doesn mean men have better way of dealing with things, it is just the way we men are, it is not sexist to accept that biology affects behavior but biological factors are not solely responsible for sex differences, culture also has a role to play. I have seen girls hurl abuses like a sailor at each other and later on apologizing and patching things up but can it be linked to testosterone?
https://www.inverse.com/article/30979-study-testosterone-bad-decisions
Lol ! :P
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